Tuesday, January 10, 2006

Tabloid Tuesday: Angelina Jolie Dominates


This week’s BIG stories: Whitney’s Cocaine Binge, Jess Wants Nick Back, Jen Talks To Angelina, Angelina Says Wedding Is Off! … and much , much more.
Angelina Jolie is 4 for 4 this week – she’s on the cover of all 4 of the tabloids – but none of them agree what the story is! She’s either married or not, pregnant or not, with Brad or not – it’s your call because TABLOID TUESDAY doesn’t have any idea of what the real story is after reading all 4 of the tabs!The folks at US WEEKLY start things off with ANGELINA SAYS … WEDDING IS OFF! SHE’S MADLY IN LOVE. SO WHY ISN’T SHE READY TO BE BRAD’S BRIDE? Good question.
Over at STAR the headline is so confusing that we got a headache reading it. Ready? TRAGEDY ROCKS ANGELINA… WEDDING & BABY DRAMA … HEARTBREAK BEHIND THEIR RUSH TO THE ALTAR … THE TRUTH ABOUT HER PREGNANCY. (Whew! Lots of words… )
So of course we had to turn to the story inside to find out what the TRUTH really is…. and we still don’t know. Silly us – we actually expected to learn something. According to the STAR, “So is she, or isn’t she? “Only Angelina and Brad know for sure,” a friend of Jolie’s tells Star,” and neither one of them is telling.” So much for the TRUTH.
IN TOUCH drags Jennifer Aniston into the continuing Angelina Jolie saga with their cover story EXCLUSIVE … JEN TALKS TO ANGELINA! FINALLY – HOW THEY REALLY FEEL ABOUT EACH OTHER… Well, there should be some juicy details about THAT conversation… so we peeked inside.
Are you ready for this? Seems Jennifer called Brad on his cell phone and Angelina answered. Know what they said? Can’t wait for the words and angst to start flowing? Well, TABLOID TUESDAY gives you fair warning: There’s not a single quote from either woman in the entire story! That’s right – nothing, nada, Nada III, zip, zilch – even for the tabs, this is a new low in non-delivering. According to the IN TOUCH story “In a calm voice, she greeted Angelina and the two women had a short – if strained – conversation for the first time since Jen split from Brad.” And then “Jen no doubt felt a small sense of victory as Angelina quietly handed the phone to Brad.” That’s it! Cat fight’s over! What wit, what repartee – what a rip-off!
Next up in the Angelina saga, the ENQUIRER. Their front page story is ANGELINA’S SECRET CANCER NIGHTMARE. We’ll let you find out the details of this secret cancer nightmare – but we’ll give you a hint: It’s her mom and she was diagnosed 5 years ago…. But you didn’t hear it from us.

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